


This is How One Fashionizes

by chocolafied, LunaTheLoneWolf



Series: Crack Creed [13]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Crossdressing, Gen, Genderbending, Genderswap, Not Inspired by Real Events, Parody, Poor Sofia, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolafied/pseuds/chocolafied, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaTheLoneWolf/pseuds/LunaTheLoneWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For once, it wasn't Yusuf who messed with his wardrobe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is How One Fashionizes

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't even inspired by anything. Ezio just wanted to torture Sofia a bit. Maybe it was because he didn't talk to her for a while and then she found him on a Facebook page he wasn't supposed to have...? ...oopsdidIreallyjustsaythat? :'D

**Characters in this story:**

* * *

                Ezio sat at the kitchen table cleaning her hidden blades while Yusuf worked on her bombs in silence. Shaun sat a bit aways from them in a big and comfy chair toying with her iPod with Rebecca on a laptop next to her and Lucy sitting on the arm of the other chair, hovering over the blonde as she continued to build her latest masterpiece on Minecraft.

                The mentor looked up at Caterina, who was sitting next to her and sighed. “So, any plans for tonight?”

                “No, actually,” the noblewoman raised her head and looked up at the brunette assassin. Ezio’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, but she said nothing about it. “Why?”

                Yusuf paused and looked up from the bomb she was tinkering with to see the older woman smirking impishly. “Ezio…” she drawled out. “What did you do?”

                “It’s not what _I_ did,” she countered confidently, setting the weapon down onto the table. “It’s what I _will_ be doing.”

                The two stared at her quizzically until Caterina shook her head and raised a hand. “And what is _that_ supposed to mean?”

                Ezio looked up at the short haired woman and smiled calmly. “You’ll find out.” She turned to look at the Plague Doctor sitting by Shaun with a syringe hovering over the Brit’s head. “Is he coming down yet?”

                Cersa nearly jumped in the air and frantically hid the needle behind her back with one hand right before Shaun looked up curiously. “He should be down any minu—”

                _THUD_.

                “YUSUF!”

                Yup, he was on his way, alright. Thunder came down the steps to from the second floor to the first. Ezio slowly glanced over to the Turkish assassin before going back to polishing her hidden blades. Yusuf was now sitting upright and completely frozen and with eyes like a deer’s that was caught in a bright light. The noblewoman looked over to the younger assassin before the door slammed open. Ezio remained fixed at the task at hand while everyone else’s attention was divulged to the cross-dresser standing in the doorway; and _boy_ did he look _pretty_.

                “Oh my _God!_ ” Shaun cursed before sinking further into her seat. Lucy shielded Rebecca's eyes and looked away with a distorted face and squinted eyes.

                Caterina and Yusuf let their jaws slack. “What the—” the noblewoman turned to look at the mentor before looking back at the drag queen standing in the doorway. It took Yusuf a good second before she broke out into a fit of giggles. Cersa began laughing loudly and pointing an accusing finger at Sofia, which in turn earned a fiery glare from the star of the show. 

                “Now, one would ask; ‘How do I accessories with a jade green dress?’” Ezio asked aloud with mock innocence. “The answer is quite simple really.”

                Sofia’s glare turned from the false medical practitioner to the brunette assassin. “You mean _you_ ,” he pointed a finger at the smirking Italian. “did _this_?!” And then he gestured to his whole body, from raccoon eyes to the bright neon pink dress with frills along the hem that touched down to his bright pink shoes that he wore.

                “ _Me?_ ” Ezio inquired with a grin and a raised eyebrow; she set down the blade she was working on and pointed an accusatory finger towards herself before waving the same hand in a dismissive gesture. “Now why on _Earth_ would I do…well,” she paused and looked up at the man. Her lips drew into a thin line as she looked him over. “ _That_.” The Italian finished, nodding towards him.

                His face began to turn red as she looked him in the eye with a grin on her face before turning her head and continuing. “Anyways, this is how you accessorize to a jade green, ladies and, ahem,” Ezio cleared her throat before glancing at Sofia for a second. “ _Gents_. Now, back to the matter at hand; first, you must get rid of said jade green dress. Neon pink is the new shade of fabulous, ladies, as well as laces and frills.”

                Steam began to seep from Sofia’s ears as his face turned a lobster-red, the one he usually enjoyed seeing on Ezio. The assassin then shot him a look as if to say _the tables have turned, Bitch._ “Also, you can’t forget the raccoon eyes and the shit ton of make up! It’s _totally_ sexy and every man will die to have your number~” she gasped with a mockingly offensive feminine tone while batting her eyelashes coyly at the drag queen, who now starting to eerily resemble the mentor assassin when she was starting to lose her temper. And while everyone in the room was either laughing loudly or snickering and trying to hold in their amusement, they saw the man’s eyes turn red and darkness starting to consume his body.

                The ground began to quake as he slowly stomped over towards the table with footprints that left dents and cracks in the floor. Lucy, Rebecca, Cersa, and Shaun all slowly crept out of the room through the open doorway where Sofia had first arrived. When the lights began blinking unstably, Yusuf and Caterina shared a glance before nodding and running out the nearest door. Ezio paid no one any mind, however, and kept cleaning her blades while humming contently as the floor rumbled beneath her seat. He stopped when he stood less than a few inches from the younger woman and breathed through fiery nostrils as she slowly looked up at him with a smile she normally greeted him with.

                “We’re even now, Sofia,” Ezio smirked impishly at him, staring at him while continuing to finish polishing the blade in her hand. Sofia stopped his temper tantrum abruptly and gave her a quizzical look. He watched as she glanced up at him again before continuing humming the tune she was before.

                “Wait, what do you mean by _even_?” he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking down at her while his shadow loomed over her figure.

                “Remember last weekend when you dragged me to that hoighty-toighty restaurant?” Ezio allowed her lips to curl up ever so slightly as he recalled the evening.

                Sofia then pursed his lips and laughed nervously. “Oh,” he said. “ _That_.”

                “Yeah,” she nodded her head in sarcastic agreement with him. “ _That!”_

                “But you said you enjoyed yourself!” he protested as he reached over for a cloth and wiped the crap-load of make-up that was on his face.

                “I said I enjoyed the _last_ part. The evening was entirely too stale for my tastes.”

                “I’m sorry I disappoint,” he grumbled with a light frown.

                “Apology accepted.” Ezio smiled lightly. She began waving her hand dismissively towards his body. “Now hurry along, Raccoon boy. I’m sure that if any of the men see you like that; you’ll have more to explain that you would feel like doing.”

                He glared at her with an amused look in his eye. “Alright,” he said. “But before I go…” he leaned down into the woman’s ear and whispered a few words and let his breath fan across the shell of her ear. When he pulled away, she looked up at him with a smirk.

                “You’re sure?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

                Sofia nodded, mimicking her facial features before wordlessly retreating out of the room. On the way out, however, he tripped over himself and fell flat on his face.

                Ezio turned her head when she heard him groaning in pain and laughed loudly with a hand instantly coming up to cover her mouth. Sofia got up with whatever dignity he could muster and hastily made his exit. The assassin shook her head with a goofy grin on her face as she strapped on her gauntlets. She gave both of them a test reflex, the blades sliding in and out smoothly and proficiently. The brunette spared one more glance at the (again) broken doorway before jumping out of her seat and heading out the door Yusuf and Caterina fled through earlier.

                She had work to do, after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ezio: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM THAT?
> 
> Yusuf: I DON'T KNOW!
> 
> Ezio: YUSUF WHY?!!! -crys in corner-
> 
> Yusuf: Well, feedback is cool and flames will be used to burn Sofia's dress.


End file.
